Wellbeing Advice Column – Relapse Prevention

WELLBEING ADVICE COLUMN
RELAPSE PREVENTION

september 26, 2022

We need to demystify addiction recovery. What can be done to prevent relapse from occurring?

In our wellbeing advice column, All Hands and Hearts’ (AHAH) Director of Wellbeing responds to an AHAH team member who writes in to find out.

“I have struggled with addictive behavior and feel ready to move forward towards a solution. How do I keep my day in check?
I was wondering if you would share the things that I can do daily to keep a recovery or abstinence focus? I know how easy it can be for people to relapse and to get off track when stressed.“

It is essential for us to break down the labyrinth that many get lost in during their abstinence from harmful behaviors journey. Thinking long-term is one of the major pitfalls people face when looking to change a part of their lives they’ve been completely powerless over. How many return to addictive patterns due to the stress of declaring, “I won’t EVER do this AGAIN”?

I refuse to tell you that you have to commit to tackling abstinence from addictive behaviors for the rest of your life. What do you think of that? How does it feel to have permission to not have to make a decision about the rest of your life today?

The only moment where we are able to tackle that which feels like it is destroying us from the inside, is this moment right here, right now. We are essentially allowing ourselves to focus on living one day at a time. We have this 24 hours and that’s where we focus – on today. When walking along a daily healing pathway – we get the chance to restart each day.

There are five things that one can do each day to ensure that they do not relapse in their recovery from addictive behaviors. It’s the most profitable investment I have ever seen: 24 hours of abstinence in exchange for doing five simple things. Through the many thousands of people I have met who are healing from addictive behaviors, all over the world, I have never met a person who has relapsed when they have done these five things in a day. I call them the five fingers that enable you to grasp your abstinence for today.

If you are ready to admit that you are powerless over these behaviors, then we need to do things differently and not rely on our unaided willpower to remain abstinent because we’ve already seen that that solution didn’t work.

ABSTINENCE PREVENTION HOMEWORK

Let’s put these behaviors under a magnifying glass. It is through guided self-evaluation and investigation that we are able to truly connect with our powerlessness. I want you to feel refreshed today and freed from the burden of unresolved pain. That said, I also do not want you to drown under a torrent of turmoil that discourages you. My suggestion is to set a timer for at least 15 minutes, but not longer than an hour, to do a daily portion of your abstinence prevention homework. After that: Go do something nurturing for yourself!

CONTACT YOUR RECOVERY SUPPORT PERSON

I’ve heard it said that, “We are only as sick as our secrets.” If you do not want the phone to feel too heavy to lift when you are in desperate need of help, then work your muscles by sending an accountability text each day to check-in with your abstinence guide. If you don’t currently have a sponsor or recovery support person, or don’t know how to get one, please ask. Your pathway to learning how to trust another person to help you through something you can’t do alone, is based on this essential relationship.

ATTEND A RECOVERY MEETING OR SUPPORT GROUP

Through the stories others tell of their past pain and how they have remained abstinent from addictive behaviors and patterns, we are reminded of where we’ve been and where we want to be. It is a life giving process of reciprocity. Likewise, your stories of experience, strength and hope allow others to know that they are not alone in their struggle with addiction. It normalizes and stabilizes your world when you are connecting with people who know where you’ve been and know what you’re going through. Isolation is our enemy. Recovery is based on unity….I encourage you to read
through the 12 Steps. Do you see the word “I” anywhere in the steps? No. That’s because it’s a WE program: WE recover TOGETHER, so that you are not alone and powerless.

MEDITATION AND/OR YOUR CHOSEN SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

What does prayer or meditation look like for you? Having a daily practice can serve as the hands that hold up your 24 hours of abstinence. In relation to powerlessness over addictive behavior, something is going to have control over our day: it’s either our addiction, or reliance on a Higher Power or a serenity practice. You have the freedom and ability to decide and to take action.

The three simplest prayers are: please, help and thank you.

The simplest meditation: breathe in and out fully five times, allowing yourself to feel a sense of surrender to the breath and present moment.

BEING OF SERVICE TO OTHERS IN RECOVERY WHO HAVE THE SAME ADDICTION

Refocusing our attention on how we can help someone who is suffering from the same struggles that we are can free us from the bondage of our own thinking. I love the saying: “It is my best thinking that got me into this problem!” You have strength, experience and compassion to share. If you feel helpless or unable to figure out how to be of service to someone else in recovery.

Here is my suggestion for a first step.

Call someone from your recovery meeting or support group: